Average Joe ….aka Coach Joe

Spring in the South – a wonderful place to live and play. Dogwoods and Azaleas are in bloom, our cars are yellow from the pollen, and Saturdays are spent…at the ball field. During the springtime, Average Joe becomes Coach Joe. The kids and the games bring back great memories from seasons past.

One might think that your biggest obstacle in coaching would come from the opposing team and coach. Although the games and teams are often tough – a hidden opponent lurks from the sidelines – the parents!! Most parents cause no problems at all. Occasionally, however a coach will encounter a well meaning, yet overzealous parent. Of these parents, they often fall into four categories: Babysitters, Superstars, Playing time and Screamers. Let’s explore each group. 

Babysitters – This group of parents view your team as a babysitting service. They drop off their kid and show up somewhere between 5 and 30 minutes after practice is over. They miss all team meetings; have little or no interaction with the coach or the other parents, and barely notice their child is playing. The Babysitter parents often have too many obligations and too little time. Unfortunately, they often miss their child throwing fits, refusing to practice or listen, and generally disrupt practice. In my career as a coach, I have even had parents stay in the car for practices and games! No wonder their kids are starved for attention!

Superstars – These parents believe they have given birth to the next Jordan, Beckham, Shaq, or Manning. These parents are astounded that the whole team does not cater to Little Johnny superstar. Little Johnny superstar should take every shot, score every goal and never come out of the game…or so the proud parents believe. As an added bonus, Little Johnny picks up on this attitude and Coach Joe gets to spend half of every practice begging Johnny to pass the ball. I will never forget the phone call from Little Johnny’s dad telling me I should spend more time with his son because he was “the only high caliber player on the team”. Lots of fun for Coach Joe!

Playing Time parents – these are sneaky parents who are going to make sure their child gets “substantial” playing time. Coach Joe has seen parents bring stopwatches to games and heard of parents who call other parents to craft a ‘conspiracy theory’ that coach only plays his favorite players. Three weeks before the season even started last year, an email arrived in Coach Joe’s inbox from a parent. This particular parent went on to tell Joe how talented his 9 year old boy was, how many goals he scored in another league, and how important it was to “continue his development”. With a buildup like that, Coach Joe expected to see an unbelievable talent…unfortunately; it didn’t work out that well. That same parent spent the whole season chasing his son up and down the sidelines, ‘coaching’ him – which means the player didn’t learn much from Coach Joe that season.

Screamers – by far, this is a favorite role of some parents. This parent believes their child will play much better if they are being yelled at for the entire game. Coach Joe wonders if that parent faces the same tactic at their job. The screaming parent usually renders their child confused, bewildered and useless. Coach Joe has also heard the screamers disagree with his substitution decisions, the start time of the game, the length or color of the jerseys, the referees bias, the snacks the kids get, the condition of the field, the firmness of the ball and other vital elements of the competition.

So why does Coach Joe put himself through this pain and misery? Two reasons: the parents mentioned above are the minority, and the feeling you get when little Suzy or little Billy stays in position and gets their first goal, or stops a great shot or makes a great play. When a child on your team “gets it” – the play, the concept, the strategy – whatever it may be – is priceless. Coach Joe has been coaching for more than five years for the local YMCA. Initially, it was a way to spend quality time with his son and give a little back to the community. Over the years, it has developed into a passion for coaching and instructing young athletes on the meaning of teamwork, sacrifice, hard work, and self discipline. It is truly the most rewarding thing Average Joe has ever done. 

So parents – if you are out there on these spring Saturdays, remember a few points. Volunteer coaches are volunteers. They don’t get paid, they spend a lot of time organizing, planning, preparing and working with your child to get them the best they can be…as well as building a team. If you think you need a professional coach, there are several leagues that can assist your child. 

Second point – volunteer your time. It is easy to show up a couple of times a week to cheer your child on. Not all of us are cut out to be head coaches, but we always need team parents, team coordinators, assistant coaches, and car pool parents. 

One last point – remind yourself how fast your child is growing. You only have a few short years before they are independent of you, doing their own thing with their friends. Do you really want their memories of you to include Saturdays of screaming or babysitting by their coaches? Pat your local coach on the back this weekend and tell him you appreciate his hard work and dedication – that will make a better impression than screaming across the field!